Today I came across a short piece of writing that I first penned around 10 years ago. It was very heartfelt at a time when I didn’t really understand myself, but was loved nonetheless. It has taken me all this time to … Continue reading
I first experienced Charles Bukowski when I read ‘Ham on Rye’. This semi-autobiographical novel turned my stomach, filled me with anger and enabled me to feel empathy all at the same time. Experiencing so many emotions from one, fairly short book, surprised me. I felt shocked by some of the things that I read, yet I was also fascinated by the fact that someone had laid themselves so bare for all the world to see. For so many years now, writing has come naturally to me. It is as natural to me as thinking and breathing…..in fact, it is an extension of the elements that make me whole, yet I’ve always shied away from laying myself and my emotions bare for fear of being judged. Don’t get me wrong….from time to time I have written raw and gritty pieces that I have gone on to delete, not knowing what impact they may have had on their reader OR if they were even read at all (such is the anonymity of the world wide web). Bukowski was a very troubled man, an alcoholic, womaniser and someone who struggled with his temper. These are generally the characteristics I loathe in another human being, but the force of his words AND the wisdom that comes with them made Bukowski like a drug to me and I was opened up to a whole new world of thinking….one in which expressing madness and raw emotions was not seen as a weakness, but was seen as something empowering. There is a reason why Time magazine of 1986 described him as “the laureate of American lowlife”.
Whenever I read Bukowski (on a daily basis, in snippets), my emotions are stimulated. He seems to perfectly entangle every positive and negative aspect of life – from relationships through to sex and everything in between. His self doubt seems to know no bounds and in this I seek great comfort.
I think that throughout my entire life I have been crippled by self doubt. I’ve always felt that there was someone better out there than me and, fairly often, I have been treated that way and this has fueled the negativity even more. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realised that there may be people out there who are better looking, richer, more popular, but that is really irrelevant to my life in the long run. What I have to offer to the world and those around me is unique and that’s what makes me me. How other people feel about me is fairly unimportant as long as I believe in myself and offer the best version of myself to the world. I’ve found this approach now attracts the right people to me after years of attracting the wrong people who have abused me because they didn’t understand or like themselves very much. Don’t get me wrong, there are days where I feel like a vile, insecure mess, but that is usually just for one day and then I pull myself together, do some stern talking and get back to the real me that thinks she is good enough. A certain amount of self deprecation keeps us grounded, but it is important to get the balance right. Noone loves a whiner. Good, old Charles taught me that!
He also taught me that belief in yourself is the only thing you can truly own. Being lonely is a curse and one that a lot of people have very little control over. However, it is worth noting that too many people have never experienced true lonliness. I have and it was a time that I have decided to use to my great advantage because I know that I was the one who saved myself from it, noone else. You are in control of so many more elements of your life than you give yourself credit for. As soon as you stop expecting other people to make you whole, prevent lonliness or build you up, you will discover just how powerful you are as an individual.
So many people think that Bukowski is a very depressing read and, to some extent, they would be right in thinking this. However, it is all about perspective. I see the negativity, I relate to it and I take the message from it, without dwelling on it for too long. For me, Charles Bukowski is inspirational and leads me to a deeper sense of understanding of the soul…..my soul. He talks a lot about sex and control, but he also explains that without a deeper understanding of yourself you can never fully appreciate the wonder that is a physical relationship with someone. Anyone can have sex, but if you are not in tune with your body AND your mind, you will be left wanting. Finding yourself (cheesy as this sounds) leads to much deeper and more meaningful relationships with your own soul as well as the souls of those closest to you.
I could probably talk about Bukowski all day and I’m pretty sure this won’t be the last post I write about him, but this is just a little bit from my mind today. It only scratches the surface, but I’m just testing the waters to see if anyone feels the same about this man and if more posts would be warranted.
Light and love, people. Mimi Cat xox
Happy New Year, everyone! Things have been a little crazy over the past few months, but now is the time to get back into writing on this blog and sharing some fabulous news and products. This Christmas I was lucky … Continue reading
It’s struck me recently how much time people spend on mobile devices. Checking their Facebook, Instagram, Twitter…..and the rest. All these transient, insignificant sneak peaks into other people’s lives. People you barely even know. When was the last time you … Continue reading
It’s been a while since I posted. What happened? Life, I guess….or my lack of living it to the full. I let worries and my unhappiness stand in the way of my passions and I’m sorry for that. Sorry to me, but not FOR me.
As I’ve said before….we are the kings and queens of our own happiness so I’m putting my crown back on and taking life by the balls!
Charles Bukowski said that. He also said “find what you love and let it kill you”, but we’ll focus on this quote for now.
I’m now in my 30th year of being and what have I learnt? Well….understanding myself has been the hardest, but most rewarding lesson of all. To not understand yourself, your mind and your passions is a crime indeed. I don’t hate myself, loathe the skin I’m in OR ever want to give up. I’ve done all that and now I’m working on focussing on the positives.
Realising that good things CAN happen to good people is a skill I’m yet to learn, but after the past few years I’ve had (I say “had” rather than “lived” as I don’t think I truly did live for a while….not properly anyway) I’ve started to turn things around.
It’s all about believing in yourself. If you don’t then how can you expect others to believe in you? Try not to fake it as it will only end in disappointment all round. Truly believe, even if only in spurts. People are attracted to openness. Don’t get me wrong….there will always be someone trying to put the boot in no matter how hard you try to please or avoid them, but they’re not your people. Surround yourself with good people, positive vibes and keep trying. Never, ever, ever give up (think I’ve mentioned that Churchill bloke before using this quote, but he was good).
Life is what you make it, nothing more, nothing less. Take it from one who knows. Keep going on your own path and good things will start to happen that may even last a lifetime.
Must dash….got some life to live!!
Love and light, people. Mimi Cat xox
When I first stumbled across Serena Kuhl on the Sara is in love with…. blogspot I was amazed I had never seen her stuff before. I’ve already written posts on how much I adore resin and make jewellery out of it myself, but this woman is unreal!
Serena makes rings, bangles, cuffs, studs, soap dishes and more out of resin and each piece is unique and fabulous. They are real statement pieces and I am just in love!
Her urchin jewellery looks like it has come straight out of the ocean and her crystals look like they have been tweaked from a unicorn’s cave. All of it is mystical, brightly coloured and very bold. There are not many companies that make HUGE rings and cuffs so she is a rare treat and I for one will be adding to my Serena Kuhl collection very, very soon.
I was lucky enough to be sent one of her crystal rings. It is purple, turquoise and has loads of glitter in layers. The process is not an easy one and takes Serena days of dedication to perfect. The finished product, however, proves just how much effort goes into this jewellery and just how passionate this lady is about her art.
I absolutely can’t wait to wear this ring out and am sure it will get lots of compliments. It will go with so many of my clothes. I am also sure I will be writing more about this fabulous designer in future posts.
Thank you, Serena!
Since I was a child I have been obsessed with jewellery. There wasn’t a time when I didn’t have a necklace or bracelet on.
It was inevitable, then, that a well accessorised child would grow up to be a well accessorised woman! I started making my own to compliment my outfits when I was a teenager. I kept seeing things in the shop and thinking “I could make that” so I set to it. After years of experimenting with dodgy glues that ruined the design or just not getting the right technique, I stumbled across resin. I used crystal resin for the first time a few years ago and have been a fan ever since.
It is a tricky, messy substance to use, but the results can be amazing. In all honesty, I’m still experimenting now, but I have made some items I’m pretty proud of. Bangles and rings are my specialty and these are my favourite items of jewellery to wear. It is also quite fun to mix the resin as it is a bit like a scientific experiment with two parts resin to one part hardener. Once the resin is mixed up you can add glitter, beads……anything really and put it in a mould of your choice to harden for 24hrs. I bought my rubber moulds off Etsy and they are not perfect, but still give decent results and, because they are rubber, you can turn out your jewellery much more easily than hard moulds I have used in the past. You can even use rubber ice trays as they are available in fun shapes and are far cheaper than proper resin moulds.
The trick with resin is to be patient (something I’m not good at!) If you take it out to early it will fall apart or warp. The longer you can leave it, the better. This is hard to do when the moulds are not see-through and you have no idea what the finished product will look like. That’s another exciting bit about resin. Each piece is unique and you never know what you’re going to get next.
Here’s what I made yesterday:
The square one came about by chance. I placed extra resin in a tealight holder and then moulded it into a square when it was still a bit soft. It has taken a slightly warped effect that works (on this piece) because it looks like a stone rather than plastic.
Let me know what you think or if you have any good resin techniques that you think need to be shared.
Light and love, people. Mimi Cat xox